Risk All to Have All: Relationships

Risk All to Have All

As I say in my book, A Holy Relationship:  The Memoir of One Couple’s Transformation, my deceased wife and I lived on the razor’s edge of Zen in our relationship at all times.  That meant to us that we “risked all to have all” at all times in our relationship.

What does that mean?

It means that we gave all of ourselves to each other and to our relationship at all times.  The risk was that the other one of us would withdraw themselves from the fullness of our relationship and, in that experience, the one still risking all would have no counterpart of completion in that risk.  Thus, giving all would not be received by the other, the relationship would collapse but the emotional investment in the other, in the relationship, would still be there but instead of thriving in love it would be suffering in pain.

That is what it means to risk all to have all.

Why do that?

Because in the fullness of both partners giving all of themselves to each other and to the relationship, a true joining of spirit is created and, in that joining, the bliss of spirit is felt and lived as the power of love.  And I have never experienced anything as delicious, as fulfilling, as joy-evoking, as peace-enveloping and as freedom-facilitating as that.

I’m not saying that you have to risk all to have all.

I’m not saying that I believe you will be bad or wrong by not doing that.

I will not judge you for not being willing to risk all to have all.

All I am saying, in my experience of always risking all to have all, in everything, with everyone, is that the depth of that experience is a milieu for the fullness of who and what you really are, the spirit of you, your inner being, to fully be present in your life and for you to fully experience yourself, your essence, your spirit, in the power and grandeur of love that you really are.

From this experience, what came bubbling to the surface of my consciousness was the idea that I always “want for you [for anyone; for everyone] what you want for yourself.”

And from that experience, I’ve come to realize that “all relationships are seen as total commitments, yet they do not conflict with one another in any way.  Perfect faith in each one, for its ability to satisfy you completely, arises only from perfect faith in yourself” (A Course in Miracles, 1975, page 292; T-15.VI.1:3-4).

And I find that I can only have perfect faith in myself when:

.  I am giving all to all.

.  I am in the fullness of love that I am.

.  I am extending that love to everyone and everything always.

.  I accept you as you are.

.  I know you as the love that you are.

Risk all to have all?  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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